Signs of a Cheating Spouse – Part 1

Greetings All!  I’m Glen Dunsbergen, Owner of Peak Investigations, a licensed, bonded and insured private investigation agency in the greater Phoenix, Arizona area.  This is part one of a multi-part article on signs of a cheating spouse.  There is no one particular set of signs that will identify if your spouse is cheating on you.  It’s more about looking for or noticing things that are out of character for your spouse.  You know your spouse’s routines, how your spouse dresses and smells.  You know your spouses’ intimate routines.

To start with, during certain times of the year the spouse who is likely to cheat will subside for a while.  These times seem to be the holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, birthdays, etc.  Then the offending spouse seems to go back to the way they are.

These signs that I’ve identified are not definitive, but when there are several “indicators” identified you may have a problem with a cheating spouse.   Remember, not everyone cheats.  These indicators may actually be signs of something completely different than a cheating spouse.  Stress at work,  Illness?  Don’t jump to conclusions!  It’s best to hire a licensed private investigator, such as Peak Investigations to check on the actual facts of your situation.

Lets get into the list.

#1  This is a really important one.  A gut check.  Sometimes you just know something is off.  I recommend you go with your gut and look for or better, be aware of other signs.  And, then call us!!

#2  Changes in their routine.  We are all creatures of habit.  When habits change, there is a reason.  

#3 Unaccountable periods of time. Cheaters will only have certain times of the day when your spouse or partner has the opportunity to cheat.

#4  Acting out of character.  You’ll know when they are they not themselves lately.

#5 Certain ages come into play.  Women began cheating typically in their early 30s, and on the other hand men began in their 20s.

#6  A study from the Institute of family studies found that 22% of Blacks 16% of whites and 13% of Hispanics have had sex with someone other than their spouse while married.

#7  In the same study, a political party can be a factor.  18% of those who identify as Democrats had sex with someone other than their spouse while married.  15% for Independents and 14% for Republicans.

#8  Education is also a factor.  Those with some college at 18% followed by those with college degrees at 16 %,  and those with a high school diploma come in at about 15%.

#9  14% of those who attend religious services at least once or several times a year will cheat on their spouse.   Just because they are in the choir, doesn’t mean they don’t cheat.

#10 If your spouse or partner was previously married they are more likely to cheat.  It doesn’t mean that they will,  these are just statistics that have been observed over the years.

#11  Changes in music just seemingly out of the blue.  (adapting to the lovers music)

#12  Your partner is Moody.  This could be a normal thing.  But if your partner is suddenly irritable all the time especially if it’s just with you.

#13  Cheaters are often impatient and irritable with their spouse or partner.  Picks on small things such as how you dress etc.

#14 The cheater picks fights and blames you over inconsequential matters.   Blaming you for everything wrong in their life.

#15 Your partner or spouse accuses you of cheating.  However, this may be “blame transferring” and turn the tables you, when the spouse or partner may actually having the affair.

#16  Jokes or off the cuff comments about cheating.

# 17  Accuses you of being crazy.  Or just plain crazy or they say it’s your imagination  This is a very common sign of a cheater trying to cover their tracks.

#18  Your spouse or partner gives you a lot of attention.  Or your spouse or partner is giving you a great deal of love and attention and if so , that’s kind of out of character for them this often happens because it’s causing tremendous guilt.    Remember to ask yourself, is this out of character with your spouse?

#19 The cheating partner is no longer dependable or suddenly becomes unreliable.   It shouldn’t come as no surprise as the cheater will be bouncing between 2 women or 2 men or whatever the case is.

#20 He or she begins to lie to you about seemingly small unimportant matters.

#21 The cheating partners get angry about being questioned about their whereabouts.  The cheater may over explain where he is or what he’s been doing.   The cheater may offer extra details and elaborate unnecessarily.  Would a very simple explanation suffice? 

#22  Privacy and paranoia!  Sometimes your partner will accused you of putting a GPS tracker on her / his  vehicle or snoop on her social media.  Remember the cheater will always make it your fault.

#23 The cheating partner exhibits guilt,  aside from paranoia, the partner may not want you to do nice things for them ‘because they feel guilty about it”.

#24 Leaves the room to take or make phone calls.  This is pretty much a given.  Cheaters often take or make telephone calls in private for the obvious reasons.  Again, is this is out of character with your spouse?

#25 Hangs up the Phone when you enter the room.  

#27  Having a cell phone that is always on silence or vibrate.  Is this a normal thing or is this suddenly happening?

# 28 Unusual phone numbers on the phone bill.  These numbers can be investigated!

#29  The cheater tends to call their lover right after leaving the residence and just before getting back to the residence.

This is the end of Part 1, for a multi-part article on signs of a cheating spouse.  If you have an issue involving a cheater or any other issue.  Give Glen a call at 602-341-3703 for a discrete and confidential consultation.